Monday, June 9, 2014

The Rabbit Sends a Little Lizard

 Chapter 5: The Rabbit Sends a Little Lizard
(Secret Love Affair - Alice in Wonderland Parody) 

From a distance Seon-jae saw the March Hair talking to someone, gesturing to that confounded necklace. When he looked again she was coming down the path towards him. He bent over and took another shovelful of dirt, trying not to catch her eye, and tossed it into the wheelbarrow. “Hey,” she called, “Can you look at this necklace for me?” He stood up. He saw that the other person was Hye-won, and that she was now talking to the white @luvhollanlop rabbit.

That the one you had before?” he asked. “It's broken. Just toss it.”

But it's pretty.”

Ask Kang then,” he replied, gesturing to the lizard, who had the other shovel, and turned back to the pile of dirt.

Hye-won had thought it was funny that the March Hair had tried to hide the necklace. “It's ok,” she had told her, “I'm pleased you like what I used to wear.” She had headed up the path again but was stopped by the rabbit.

Why @mariannavishniakova, what are you doing out here?” it asked. “Run home this moment and fetch me another bow-tie. Quick now!” She was so startled she went off at once without trying to explain the mistake it had made. She went in without knocking and went up the stairs. The first room she looked into was full of little girls in pink tutus doing ballet exercises. To a very badly played piano. In the second room she found, on a table by the window, several bow ties and a dish of celery. Almost without thinking, she picked up a stick of celery and took a bite.

Kang put down his shovel and held out a hand. “I'll take a look at it,” he offered. Seon-jae hacked at the dirt to break up the clods and threw another shovelful into the barrow. He looked up at the house. The sound of the piano, with many wrong notes and off rhythm, filtered out of the window. It was just about more than he could stand. He stabbed at the dirt some more and looked at the sky as if to say, “Why me?” In another moment he had thrown down his shovel and was stalking towards the house.

As soon as she swallowed, Hye-won began to feel strange, kind of sick and bloated; but she didn't realize what was happening until her head hit the ceiling. “I'm getting bigger?” she thought, as she knelt down on the floor. In another minute there was not even room for this, and she tried lying down and wedging one elbow against the door and the other arm out the window, with her shoe in the fireplace. She heard feet pounding up the stairs and supposed it was the @luvhollanlop rabbit, coming to get her.

She was wrong. It was Seon-jae. “Stop torturing me, seriously!” he raged, shaking the pianist and knocking over the piano bench. The little girls screamed and fled down the stairs and out of the house. “I can't stand hearing it any more!”

This guy is crazy!” gasped the accompanist. “Someone report this psycho!”

Anyone would go crazy, listening to this every day!” he shouted. “Try it the way I tell you!” They grabbed him by either arm and dragged him down the stairs as he gave his last shot, “Your posture is incorrect to start with!”

By this time they had discovered the giant hand sticking out of the window. The rabbit wanted it taken away as well. There was a long silence. Hye-won could only hear whispers now and then, such as, “Do as I tell you, you coward!” At last she spread out her hand and made a snatch in the air and heard a shriek and a fall, and the crash of broken glass.

She heard the murmur of many voices talking together and made out the words, “Where's the other ladder?”

Kang's got the other. Kang! Fetch it here!”

No, tie 'em together first!”

Who's to go down the chimney? Kang!”

Oh! So Kang's got to come down the chimney, has he?” thought Hye-won. “This fireplace is narrow, but I think I can kick a little.” She drew her foot as far down as she could, and waited until she heard scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close above her. Then she gave one sharp kick.

The first thing she heard was a general chorus of, “There goes Kang!” Then the @luvhollanlop's voice calling, “Catch him, you by the hedge!” And then a feeble, squeaking voice.

That's Kang,” thought Hye-won.

Presently she heard rustling outside the window. The rabbit's voice came in clearly, “A barrowful will do,” and a shower of small red objects came rattling in, followed a moment later by something that looked like a half-empty wineglass until it hit the wall and shattered into a thousand pieces. Hye-won picked up one of the red things. It was a cherry @ktomato.

Considering what the celery did...” she thought, and popped it into her mouth. As soon as she was small enough to fit through the door she ran out of the house, passing the crowd waiting outside. The poor little lizard, Kang, was being supported by the @Llamaesque, who was giving him something out of a bottle. Seon-jae was nowhere to be seen. Hye-won ran on down the path and disappeared into the @greenwood96.